I was sitting in the waiting room before a doctor’s appointment a few weeks ago, and two middle-aged women were sitting a few seats away from me, loudly chatting. I sat quietly, minding my own business until one woman asked the other, “How is the college process going for your son?” The other woman responded, “Great! We’re going to start applying as soon as we get the ACT score back!” I couldn’t help but chuckle; she had seriously said “we.”

As seniors begin to dive into the college process, I have noticed something extremely skewed and disturbing. Parents truly believe that this is their big decision to make – that these are their applications. And I can admit based on personal experience, the suggestions I receive from my parents are beneficial. But this is our time – these are our moments that could structure our futures.

The entire purpose of the college process is attempting to explain to institutions why we belong at a given place, and it’s quite difficult to do so when one’s parents are physically and metaphorically hovering.

These increasingly “helicopter” parents are constructing and submitting a representation of what they believe the colleges would like to perceive of their child, rather than the student expressing his or her ideologies and desires. Ultimately, the submitted application is completely distorted and inaccurate. What is important for colleges to know: what the parents believe about their child, or what the prospective student believes about him or herself?

The process then becomes unjust. What happens to the students who do not have educated or academic guardians controlling the process? Now, these students are at a disadvantage. Or are they? Maybe college admissions officers can detect that these are manufactured essays, lacking honesty, heart and voice.

Parents must understand that their deep involvement in their children’s lives can consequently be detrimental, not only in terms of the college process. Students get to college and can’t do their own laundry, make their own food – a dependency is formed.

I believe that as we spend our final months under the same roof as our parents, we should see this as an opportunity to become increasingly independent.

Perhaps the only solution lies in the hands of these parents: take a few steps back. These are our applications – and our lives.